B33f 0r ch1ck3n?

I have beef, no, that did not come out right, at all, not the kind that can be refrigerated, with my ISP but that is neither here nor there, i sorted that out, sent a complaint E-mail to all the contact us and contacts e-mail addresses i could find on their domain, [reason i missed a post or two] they might terminate my services for that but hey, they started it, what with switching the net on and off faster than those relay switches that control the disco lights at your favourite club, [someone mentioned something about power cables and some rats and assorted rodents, Rev, they got a job for Space, no?] so fast that the router thinks its still connected while it is not, it actually has not had a connection since last year, but i digress. There was the thing about the power [recurring theme?] to my flat, a localised problem, not sorted as yet, a temporary solution was implemented, sort of, hoping it will hold up, so far no conflagrations have been reported so….

For those who have been awaiting Windows XP SP3, kindly hit the link to go to the download, it was promised to be released on Microsoft Update on 29th April, 2008 but i am yet to see it appear there. Be warned though, they are still working on a bug, which in as much as i can gather will not affect the everyday user of standard applications, which you are one of, yes you wielding the IE 7, and MS office and feeling all geeky and shit. It downloads from a Microsoft server so it shall be “feature” free, well as much as the stuff from there goes, me i got the Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron LTS so far no “features” have cropped up. I am not ashamed to say that for my bread and butter i am forced to hold hands with Mr. Gates, but fret not, i wear oven mitts, we cant have contamination, can we? I consort quite a bit with the other dude, whatshisname…Jobs…yes, but he is good peoples, we share home made ginger cookies.

I have been working on them commandments and for sure they are difficult to keep track of. I understand there are ten of them making it rather difficult to keep track of them. My mother attempted to bring me up as a staunch Catholic, sent for catechism classes where i was handed whole encyclopaedia sized set of rules added for good measure, they do supply a full prayer book too, to their credit, i was surprised at the catechism class when they gave us a test on the same prayers, i failed, miserably, though strangely enough i was baptised and confirmed anyhow. I was the most troublesome pupil you see, the attention span of a ten cent coin and more energy than three suns combined. The destruction i wreaked on the church hall has to be seen to be comprehended. Oh the vagaries of youth.

In other news:

I shall leave you with a few things that you should try saying out loud in a very quiet public place, church comes to mind but then again, that is just me. I had to collect self off the floor when i read these ones:

Category:
Verbs

Word or phrase:
Coming

Suggested usage:
Tell someone: “Look who’s coming.”

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Category:
Religion

Word or phrase:
The second coming of Christ

Suggested usage:
Ask a fervent Christian how anxious they are for the second coming of Christ. Afterwards ask them if they would have their mouths open in awe.

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Category:
Fruits and vegetables

Word or phrase:
Melons

Suggested usage:
Refer to any of your aunts as having some juicy ripe melons and that they really should try them.

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