— th3 int3llig3nsi4

The State of the Union Address, now if only I had one of those.

I don’t think i am quite in the right frame of mind to be allowed to write on this here blog. Kahenya where is that fucking brick? Too late motherfather, i am off like a shot, even bricks have nothing on a bullet immobile or in motion, and as far as i can ascertain Kahenya, you did not act in Wanted or The Matrix so i believe i have nothing to fear from you.

Whatever, i tried to write what was in my brain things and found that i could not however hard i tried and this makes me suspect that either i am broked or perhaps something in my brain is, perhaps something in a nearby locality and more severe is missing. I throw my hands up, not in a party kind of thing but in the form of giving up and as such i shall show you my Tweets and funny pictures from teh internets and hope that i shall at least bring a smile to someone’s face if not full out laughter.

Please to remain and look at my internet website!

Happens to the best of us, remember Austin Powers had a penis enlargement pump? Of course he claimed it wasn't his, obviously.

Really, do i have to explain this one?

Just desserts?

For those who forgot their licenses at home. Show this to the policeperson and they might let you go.

I am totally getting these two dogs, how cute is this?

A little too much catnip at teh party.

*dead*

Remember these two from The Muppet Show? Well i am still watching the show, it was spectacularly funny.

If you still are ribbed, not like the fancy prophylactic mind, there are a few gems from my Twitter account and Favstar.fm that might tickle you;

O hai. i tend to fall into twitter. as opposed to elegantly wafting in.

Twitter. I call your name in vain. Smite me with mighty vengeance. Yea, i thought so.

I would love to retweet myself but i cant get a moment of privacy.

The workday calls my name, i am paid to obey.

Maybe someday someone will happen upon *my* Internet and when they do, i hope they write something on said Internet which i will then read.

If only Twitter could see when you are crafting a new tweet and goes; “inteligensia is typing…”

No one likes that haircut. Apart from blind people. And i am sure *they* can sense its profound ugliness as it passes by – Pirate Radio.

Hodi hodi!
Fungua mlango ndugu!
Wewe nani?
Friday.
Friday nani?
Jinga wewe!
Kuna unyevunyevu mwingi humu, harakisha!
Sawa!

There was *some* turgidity, and i assure you it was entirely accidental.

i did not lose my virginity. it just wore off with time.

I am very good at sex. Just not in sharing it.

I have been watching you watching me. You are so fly. So soft. So warm. Oh bed, I step into your warm embrace, drawn like a…

It’s inconceivable that i take myself seriously.

It is quite ill advised to ask a kindly and comely lass to blow your Vuvuzela.

Please come bask in the glory that is following me. Not too close, mind. Not too familiar with my butt. And no you may not have a nibble.

I was using Macintosh long before anyone knew they were computers not something you wore on a rainy day.

“This has never happened before!” is a phrase more commonly used than you would think.

No idea what day it is but I will get up and head to work. I just hope it is not like those other days it turned out to be Sunday.

If anyone can kick said ass, as described, then what is all the fuss about kicking said animal? Savages, the lot of you!

If you gave me a fish I would hit you with it.

What are you lot waiting for, come follow me on Twitter, who knows, i could be convinced to come back and try make you laugh or titter, as you would prefer.

Update: To those who might not know this, i do not work if i am not held properly, not quite unlike the new iPhone 4.

Take care now.

| Hold yuh (remix) ^ Gyptian feat. Nicki Minaj |