— th3 int3llig3nsi4

This article was previously published on May 28, 2009.

Right. So i am thinking its been a while since i was last here judging from the level of dust in this maafaka, then again it is always quite dusty and unruly in here so i guess no one will notice. Well so i have been quite busy though i cannot say for sure what i have been doing it being a matter of national security, such is the nature of stuff since 7/8 and what not, since the Americans like the big stars, [insert any here] since i am as knowledgeable about celebrity stuff as i am about being an astronaut i shall stop right there and not make a fool of myself as other celebrities are wont to do.

Wait, i has a lolcatpikshure to use in this space.

Now where were we? Yes, there was not one, but two attempts on my life this morning. I swear somebody is trying to kill me. Really. How would you explain a certain white van veering across again, not one but two lanes onto mine, scratching some paint off my bumper and depositing me and Mona, wait, we hopped onto the pavement just in the nick of time, to avoid certain death as the van sideswiped us right into next week! And the gall of the man, using children as shields. I most certainly gave him a piece of my mind after i chased him down and forced gently encouraged him to get off the road and blocked requested that he not move an inch as i gave him a piece of my mind. I am quite hoping the children got to school safe.

Then shortly after i got back onto the road a few kilometres down the road another idiot trying some stunts decided to test the limits of his 4×4 double cabin pick up on a roundabout i was on prompting me and mona to hitch up our skirts and scramble onto said roundabout to avoid being turned into scrap metal. He proceeded to understeer past the roundabout and steadied his car on some pillars on the opposite side of the roundabout before he overcorrected and ended up doing two 360s before he came to a stop on two wheels. Lucky bastard! His only damage was a missing bumper and scratches down one side of his car. Perhaps a puncure. Drove past him and headed on to work like nothing ever happened because i am cool like that.

So you see guys, you need to try harder, assasinating me is quite difficult, this i know, just dont ask me how i found out. Here is to a drama free rest of Hump day, get it? Hump? Well, you can not say i did not try. Sigh.

More lolcat pikshure? I have maaaaaany! *that last maaaany bit reminds me of some person i may or might not know..*

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